Weapons Testing
by lunar mischief
Summary: Kevin's the cameraman, Castiel is there for safety reasons, Sam's the unfortunate victim, and Dean's just there to have a blast.


**Hey guys! This November I will be participating in NaNoWriMo, and this time I'm in it to win it. This means I will be absent for November, so don't expect any updates on any of my stories (not that you were anyway). I'm writing a funny paranormal story. If you're interested in following my progress, I'll be posting on my weebly, twitter, and facebook pages (Plots Gone Bad). Feel free to check them out!**

**And speaking of self promotion, don't forget to check out my fanfiction page on facebook! Find me as Lunar Mischief.**

**MoonClaimed is amaizingly terrific for putting up with my terrible unedited messes and making them pretty.**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

"Is this thing on?" Kevin asked, looking into the camera. "Okay, so, Dean has been working on some new weapons recently and has decided they're ready for testing. I'm recording this so I can rewatch the footage for when things go wrong. And for blackmail purposes."

"Y'know, sometimes I forget why I like you," Dean grumbled from across the room, making a few last minute adjustments to his new prototype while shooing Cas away.

"Cas is here for when Dean inevitably kills himself."

"Dean is very smart and has proven himself quite skilled in the past," Cas stated before Dean could take offense.

"Damn straight!"

"But I will revive him as it become necessary."

"Gee Cas, really feeling the love. Sam!" Dean yelled. "Get your ass down here! It's show time!"

"I'm not having any part in this," Sam called from the next room over. "Somehow I'm always the one to get hurt."

"Hey, not all of my inventions have failed."

"I know. But after a couple of broken limbs, third degree burns, and a concussion, I've decided to sit this one out."

"Come on, it wasn't that bad."

"You blew up Bobby's living room!"

"Details." Dean picked up his sawed off.

"…Is that a shotgun attached to a bungee cord?" Kevin asked.

"Dean!" Sam shouted. "Tell me you didn't."

"What? Those con guys made a good point. We _do_ lose our weapons a lot."

"Dean, I strongly advise against this. You are going to hurt yourself," Cas warned.

"This is going to be awesome!" Kevin turned the camera to face Dean, the shot shaking a moment before finally focusing on the inventor.

"Okay, so I tested the cord before and it will bounce back up if I drop it," Dean explained as he fastened the cable around his wrist. "I'm just not sure about, well, any other direction. Or firing it." He cocked the gun. "Ready?"

"Do it."

Dean tossed the gun out to the side as if it were knocked out of his grasp and reached his hand out to catch it.

"Gah!" he yelped as it whacked him in the face. "I'm okay. Just sprung back a little faster than I thought it would. Take two." He threw the gun again, this time managing to pull the trigger as he tried to catch it, firing a shot to the right of Kevin. "Shit! Sorry, Kev. Let's try that again." He tried again, once more missing the handle but somehow managing to fire a round, this time into his foot.

"Son of a bitch!" he cried. "Okay, ow, fuck that hurts. Cas?"

"Stand still, Dean," Cas said as he reached out, healing him with the lightest of touches. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, thanks Cas," Dean said, testing out his newly fixed foot.

"Are you going to stop now?"

"Hell no! This is all part of the process," he said as he readied himself again. "I think I've got it now." Dean pitched the weapon to the side again, grabbing it at a different angle this time. "Oh fu-" The sound of a gunshot cut him off and he crashed to the ground, unmoving.

"Holy shit!" Kevin yelled, staring in horror at the sight in front of him.

"Kevin? What's wrong? What happened?" Sam demanded, sprinting into the room. "Dean!"

"He shot himself in the heart," Cas explained, kneeling down next to the elder Winchester. "I'll bring him back."

Dean shot up with a start. "Son of a bitch!"

"Dean," Sam said through grit teeth, "you need to stop."

"Relax, Sammy. Cas fixed me up; I'm good as new."

"Dean-"

"Go back to your computer Sam. One last test, and then I'll call it quits, okay?"

Sam sighed. "Fine. Just…just try not to shoot yourself this time."

"No promises," Dean grinned.

"Dean," Sam said sternly.

"I promise I'll try not to shoot myself."

"I suppose that's as good as I'll get. Cas?"

"I'll watch over him."

"Thanks," Sam said as he walked back to his desk.

"Okay, final test. If this one fails, I'll scrap it. Ready?" Dean tossed the gun, this time catching it on the spring back, but still letting lose a round. "Hell yeah!" he yelled even as a cry of pain echoed through the hideout.

"Dean!" Sam yelled.

"…I still count it as a win."

* * *

"Okay, so this time I'm testing out this flamethrower, which is a total upgrade from our usual. Sam is making me test it outside since he's afraid I'll light the place on fire. I think he's just being a wuss." Kevin snorted in the background. "Cas is here for fire duty in case things go south. You ready over there?" Dean asked.

"I am prepared to extinguish whatever fire you create."

"Awesome, let's do this thing." Dean strapped the backpack on and brought the hose forward, aiming it at a bush in front of him and squeezing the trigger. A steady stream of fire appeared. "See? I told you. Nothing to worry about."

"Wow, Dean. I'm impressed," Kevin said.

"Not all of my creations fail, you know."

"But isn't it kind of impractical to battle monsters with a giant backpack?"

"This isn't for monsters," Dean said, pulling the pack off. "There's holy oil in there."

"You plan on taking angels on with this?" Cas asked, tilting his head.

"We don't always have time to make the circle in advance."

"But it's clunky. And couldn't an angel just knock it out of your hand?" Kevin challenged.

Dean froze, eyes widening with excitement and opened his mouth to speak.

"No, Dean, you are not going to put your flamethrower on a bungee cord," Sam said as he strolled out of the bunker.

"But-"

"No buts, Dean. You'll light the place on fire. Again." Dean grumbled in reply.

* * *

"You are not trying this out on an actual hunt."

"Come on, Sam, live a little! 'Sides, hunts the best place to find out if it works," Dean said, pocketing his latest creation.

"And what about Kevin?"

"He doesn't mind, do you, Kev?"

The camera shook with the AP student's head. "You kidding? This is going to rock!"

"See? He's fine with it."

"I agree with Dean, Sam," Cas piped in.

"Of course you do," Sam muttered under his breath.

"This spirit does not seem particularly malicious. And there will be three of us to protect him."

"Fine, but if you die," Sam looked at the camera, "it's not on me."

"Okay, I'm going to turn the camera off while you guys dig to save the battery. When she shows, I'll start it back up."

_~A Dug Grave Later ~_

"-Shit!" the image flickered back on to the sound of Kevin's shock. It shook a little before finally settling on the spirit. "There she is!"

The girl was attacking Sam with difficulty. "She's still new to this whole being dead thing, which is why it's the perfect time to test out Dean's new weapon," Kevin narrated. "Speaking of which-" The camera quickly panned back to the older hunter.

"Fire in the hole!" he shouted, pulling out a small sphere, ripping the pin out with his teeth, and chucking it into the grave. There was a small explosion, and the ghost screamed as she caught on fire, vanishing into the night.

"Well, I don't know about you three, but I would call that a success." Dean grinned into the camera.

"I have to hand it to you, Dean – grenades with salt in them is a great idea."

"What can I say, Sammy? I'm a genius."

"Hey, um, guys?" Kevin asked. "I don't mean to rain on your parade, but I think the fire is spreading." The brothers looked over at the grave to see the flames from within had spread from the hole to a nearby tree. They looked expectantly at Castiel.

The angel sighed. "I'm beginning to think this is the only reason you keep me around."

* * *

"Woah, okay, what the hell is that?" Kevin asked, camera focused on the strange contraption on Dean's back.

"This," Dean grunted as he readjusted the pack and fastened it on, "is a jetpack."

"I thought you hated flying." Kevin chuckled. "Sam told me you screamed like a girl-"

"It was a manly cry of surprise, you got that?" Dean said, pointing at Kevin. "I hate planes. They're not natural. I mean, how does a giant tin can fly? But this, this is small. This is going to be awesome."

"Hey, Kevin, what do you need me – is that a jetpack?" Sam asked, tilting his head.

"Hell yeah it is!"

"How did you – you know what, never mind, I don't want to know."

"Why do you even want a jetpack?" Kevin asked.

Dean stared at him. "Why wouldn't you want a jetpack?"

"Point. But seriously, will you actually get to use this on the bad guys?"

"You know how we have to get past demons, cops, angels, whatever fugly we're currently up against? Well, no one ever looks up."

"That is genius."

"Isn't it?" Dean grinned.

"No, it's really not," Sam said.

"Shut up, Sam. Hey Cas! I need you to get your feathery ass down here. It's show time!" Dean yelled, but nothing happened.

"Come on, Cas! I'm trying to fly over here. I need you, buddy!" he tried again a few minutes later.

"Dean, I don't think he's coming," Kevin said.

"I'll just have to start without him, then."

"Dean, no. There's no way you're doing this without Cas here. That's stupid, even for you," Sam said.

"Okay, so I just gotta flip this here…and press this…and…" Dean muttered, ignoring his brother's warnings.

"Dean, don't you dare. Dea- DEAN!"

"And then...WOAH! Okay, that's strong. Hey, Sammy!" Dean called from 30 feet up. "I'm taller than your bitchy ass!"

"Real mature, Dean. Now come on, get back down here before you hurt yourself."

"Are you kidding me? This is awesome!"

"Dean. Down here. Now."

"Alright already, Samantha, I'm coming. Don't get your panties in a bunch." Dean called, rolling his eyes.

"What are you waiting for?" Sam shouted up a minute later.

"Nothing. There might be a slight problem, though… I don't know how to get down."

Sam stared up at his brother for a long moment before demanding, "Are you serious?"

"I didn't actually think it would work, okay?" There was a slight edge of panic to the flying huntsman's voice.

"So what, you're stuck up there?"

"Maybe. Hold on. I'm going to try something."

"…Did he just do a back flip?" Kevin asked, impressed.

"Okay, that didn't work. Let me try something else!" Dean fumbled with a few switches. "I think I got-" Dean yelled as he suddenly plummeted to the ground. "Son of a bitch! That hurt…" he griped, sitting up.

"Dean," Sam rasped. His brother hummed in response. "Get off of me."

"Sorry I'm late," Cas said, appearing next to Kevin. "There was a problem…" he trailed off, finally noticing the tangled Winchester brothers. "What happened?" he finally asked.

"All the blackmail I ever need," Kevin said with relish.

Dean groaned. "I hate flying."


End file.
